


Step One To Becoming a God: Die A Lot

by Frog_that_writes



Series: The Dead Kids (oops! it's a series!) [2]
Category: Dimension 20 (Web Series)
Genre: Canon-Typical Behavior, No angst tho, and by that i mean whack shit, but everyone else talks too, but not permanent or idealization, it's crazy, it's hard to describe without spoiling, lotta riz and kristen talking, mentions of suicide at one point, no repression for MY bad kids, none of these are actual tags shit, okay no cap:, read the first fic in this serious first, so if you want to know for sure check that before reading, so the end notes will discuss it, the bad kids being Mature and Aware of the whack shit they're doing, very frank discussions of death, very open discussions of emotions sometimes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-02-23 14:57:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23713309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frog_that_writes/pseuds/Frog_that_writes
Summary: The Bad Kids begin researching exactly how to become gods of death. Unsurprisingly, it involves dying a lot. Also Unsurprisingly, some issues arise about the whole dying thing.-Please mind the warnings. Also, please read the first work in this series first. It will make much more sense.
Relationships: The Bad Kids - Relationship
Series: The Dead Kids (oops! it's a series!) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1707871
Comments: 7
Kudos: 67





	Step One To Becoming a God: Die A Lot

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, if you're worried about the mentioned suicide discussion, please check the end notes before reading. It will spoil how it goes down in the chap, but you're safety is more important. I love you all, stay safe <3

Riz was being shoved forward in a march. The roar of the crowd consisting of a million bodies was moving him onward, and he was surrounded by the battle cries of decaying goblins. Bodies twisted in states of death, skin peeling and chest plates falling off of exposed ribs. There was the sound of endless clanging, shrieks of terror and delight. He couldn’t see if they were fighting anything, this endless battle marching  _ forward forward forward  _ to no set beat. The screams would have drowned out any attempts at drums, and some of the soldiers were stumbling so badly it clearly would have been useless anyways. The way they marched was strewn with bodies, trampled goblins with expressions twisted in agony, arms outstretched for aid that would never come. Swords clanged and Riz  _ knew  _ it was fighting between what was supposed to be friends, an army bearing the same crest he was sure he would be wearing if he could look down at his own armor for just a moment, maybe if they could just stop for one second. The armour was so heavy, he was so unused to wearing anything that bulky. There was no way for him to sneak wearing it, though he supposed that there would be no point in this large crowd of noise. Except maybe he could sneak to the edges, get a little room to breath. There was someone in front of him, stumbling badly, eyes rotted out of his head and skin no longer a healthy green but rather a twisted sick yellow. If he could trip him, dart forward in front of him for just a moment, waste a little bit of energy to get ahead, he would be able to move through that gap and-

He was revived, gasping so hard it was nearly heaving. Someone was attempting to shove something into his hand but he pushed them away, curling tighter onto the couch. Right, couch, that’s where he was. A rec room in Mordred Manor, the one with the most comfortable couch. There was a throw pillow behind him, he could feel it pressing against his back, and he grabbed it to curl around. There was no bulky armor hanging off of him, no heavy battle ax in his hand. In front of him, Kristen was muttering something soothing yet incomprehensible, still clutching the warm mug that was most likely what she had tried to offer him a moment ago. The rest of the bad kids were strewn about the room, clearly trying not to look too concerned. Riz accepted the mug, releasing his tight grip on the pillow only enough to hold it, and took a drink.

“That,” he said, taking a large breath and attempting to steady his voice. “Was the worst one yet, I think.” 

“Do you want to talk about it yet or do you just want to chill for a little bit?” Kristen offered. “Fig and I have one more revivifies each left but we might be done for the day unless someone else wants to go.”

“Data now,” Riz said. He took another drink. Hot chocolate instead of the coffee he would have preferred, but he supposed it was fair to not want to pump caffeine into the person you just brought back from the dead. If this what normal people did with their friends? It seemed a little strange, even to Riz, but he had been too scared of his mother’s reaction to bring it up with her to ask. 

“You’re sure?” Kristen asked, biting her lip and looking guilty. 

“Yeah,” he nodded. “But, uh, can you sit down? You’re hovering and it’s making me kind of claustrophobic.” The cleric quickly scrambled to sit on the opposite end of the couch from him. 

“Riz Gukgak, AKA The Ball, AKA the guy who will literally hide in backpacks, is feeling claustrophobic?” Fabian raised an eyebrow from where he sat perched on an armchair across the room. Riz stuck his tongue out at him. 

“I was in Maglubiyet’s army, I think,” he said instead of giving a direct verbal response. “Or at least, someone’s army. There was a lot more zombie decaying shit than his followers usually talk about.” 

“Explain it for the people who don’t posess a deep cultural understanding of ancient goblin religions,” Gorgug suggested.

“I’m surprised you don’t know more about him,” Adaine said, not unkindly. “He had a pretty famous distaste for orcs from what I’ve seen.”

“I didn’t even know I had gone to orc heaven until Fig’s dad explained it to me, I’m more gnome than orc at this point.”

“After we do this super interesting quest to become the gods of a polytheistic religion that worships death we should do like, cultural discoveries. We can get in touch with our roots and shit,” Fig suggested. She was sitting on a cushion leaned against the wall, one hand clutching Gorgug’s another holding the brush to the bottle of black nail polish clutched between her knees. Gorgug seemed content to let her do it despite the fact that he was fully capable of painting his own nails.. 

“I think most of my race would kill me on sight,” Riz protested. 

“I’ll pass on elven assimilation day,” Adaine snorted. She was currently working Fig’s hair into some sort of complicated braid, weaving around her horns like they weren’t even there. 

“I can’t believe you’ve died five times and visited two different afterlives and you haven’t had the same experience twice yet,” Kristen groaned, bringing the conversation back on track. “At this rate we’re never going to be able to write down every possible form of the afterlife to leave in an abandoned temple for a group of six young charming adventurers to find!” 

“We’ve been at this for like a month,” Riz said drily. Kristen raised her hands in the air in frustration.

“Exactly! That’s over twice the time it took me to revive a dead god and become a saint! I’ve made gods in like an hour before, why does it take so long to become a god?”

“Do you think normal kids talk about this?” Gorgug asked. “I asked Zelda if this is what the seven maiden’s sleepovers were like and she just looked vaugley horrified.”

“Normal is so boring,” Fig scoffed, spreading the paint evenly across the half orc’s thumb. “Pansy-ass losers scared of dying in the name of research.” 

“I feel like I’ve had a very bad effect on all of you,” Riz said. "You all weren't this into research until we started this though, so maybe you're just really excited about death."

“Probably,” Kristen shrugged, not elaborating on which suggestion she thought was probable. “But seriously, you’ve never really explained Maglubiyet’s whole deal and my classes just barely touched on him.”

“He was a super fucking intense goblin dude, I guess. I think most people say he’s like, 11 feet tall, which seems excessive. Black skin, red eyes, basically a cross between a demon and a goblin I guess. He’s lawful evil, so I guess it wasn’t a stretch that he would come for me eventually.”

“Sounds like a total dick,” Fig nodded. “Get the honor of meeting him?”

“Nah, I was just in his giant cluster fuck of soldiers. Way, way too many, if you ask me. I can see why all of his followers were scared of it now.”

“Yikes,” Kristen winced. “Okay, you’re on a mandatory break from the first hand aspects of death research for a little bit. You can handle the spread sheets."

“Fair.” Riz took another sip of hot chocolate. It was definitely Jawbone’s, he truly was the master of comforting- well, anything really, but especially beverages. He placed the mug on the end table next to him and reached up to feel the rapidly drying blood at his temple.

“Yeah, that’s another thing,” Kristen winced. “Seeing you shoot yourself is not exactly my favorite part of this process.”

“Well, excuse me for being dedicated to operation ‘become gods of death.’”

“I’m just saying, I have spells and shit that can do that instead.”

“Spells that aren’t guaranteed to work in one go. I’d rather do it myself and know it won’t take two shots.”

“This is chaotic and messed up as hell,” Fabian grumbled. 

“You insisted on jumping off of Seacastor Manor the last time you tried!” Riz protested. “Ragh told you to do a flip and you did and ended up getting caught halfway on the storm drain and had to climb back up all over again! That’s way worse than shooting yourself.”

“Really not digging this convo,” Kristen said with clear discomfort. “I’m all for becoming gods but if we keep talking about killing ourselves this casually I’m going to get Jawbone and turn this into a group therapy session.”

“Sorry, that’s fair,” the rouge sighed. “Okay, no more killing ourselves."

"Thank you. I know it's not _like that_ but I worry that if it ever does become _like that_ we won't be able to notice because of how we go about this. You don't even see a therapist other than Jawbone."

"I don't need to," Riz said stubbornly, gaining pointed looks at his bloody forehead and white knuckled grip on his mug from all his friends. "Okay, whatever, just don't psycho-analyze me right now, all right?"

"Fine," Kristen sighed reluctantly. 

“Should we call it something other than dying or do you think that takes away the power?” Fig asked, clearly very ready to turn the conversation. “I mean, it’s not really dying if we’ll be back in less than a minute right? It’s just… visiting the after life.”

There was a general ‘huh’ throughout the group as they pondered the question. 

“I think…” Kristen said slowly, clearly carefully thinking about her words. “That we should approach this carefully, right? Ugh, I don’t know, it’s frustrating, because I can’t say what exactly is bothering me, but I feel like my therapist would majorly disapprove of a lot of aspects about this. I'm sorry, I know I'm being so nitpicky about this. ”

"Don't apologize," Gorgug said. "This is a crazy thing we're doing, it's okay to not be one hundred percent into it."

“You may be uncomfortable with how casually we’re approaching the topic of death,” Adaine suggested, sounding for all the world that she was explaining what they may be doing wrong on her math homework. “For you, the unknown is a big thing, and something we’re all exploring together. Also, and please correct me if I’m being insensitive here, as a human you have a naturally short life-span, and death is a lot more of a big deal in your culture than it is for those of us who were raised elven.” 

“That’s probably a big part of it, yeah,” Kristen sighed. “I don’t know, I really like doing this, and I really think there is something to do the idea of trying to get more in touch with death, but I think if we’re trying to connect with death so heavily we should be more… respectful to it? Does that make sense?”

“Totally!” Fig reassured. “You’re right, we were being somewhat flippant to a pretty serious topic. We need some sort of rules.”

“Maybe we need to approach this more scientifically,” Riz suggested.

“I thought the whole point of this was religion, not science,” Gorgug questioned between carefully blowing on his right nails now that the teifling had moved onto his left.

“Right, obviously we shouldn’t try to apply the laws of physics to the afterlife or whatever, but we should write a strict code of ethics and an order of operations for ourselves. We’ve tried to be somewhat organized, but I think if we’re going to do this right it should have more order to it.”

“You’re such a detective,” Kristen groaned, but there was a thankful smile on her face. “I think that could work, we just need to make sure we have something we all agree on, make sure we’re all on the same page and no one is uncomfortable.”

“Are we becoming terrible narcissists?” Adaine asked suddenly. “Sorry to interrupt but I just realized we’re literally trying to become gods. That seems a tad narcissistic.”

“I mean,” the cleric started. “It’s for a good cause?”

“... Yes, let’s go with that. It’s good for peace of mind.”

“I vote we stick to interviews for a while, at least until we’ve come up with a plan that we all like,” Gorgug suggested. “Isn’t there a spell called  _ speak with dead _ ?”

“Or we could abandon this quest all together and go back to doing normal things like eating ice cream and killing tyrants?” Fabian said hopefully.

The group shared a look.

“Nah,” Fig said. “This is way more interesting.”

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: The Bad Kids die for their research into death, and Fabian and Riz both choose to do this by killing themselves at one point, Fabian by jumping off of Seacastor Manor and RIz by shooting himself. It's in no way motivated by anything other than wanting to look cool (fabian) or being efficient (riz), and Kristen is mildly uncomfortable about it so they immediately agree to not do it, but it could still be triggering for some people.
> 
> -  
> maglubiyet is a real dude from dnd lore i didn't make him up. God i hate most dnd lore for goblins it's so terrible why does this whole race have to worship an evil scary dude who hates them ughghh  
> With that out of the way, I hope you all enjoyed! I'm working on a figayda charlotte doyle au (can you say obscure) so get hyped for that. please leave a comment/kudo if you enjoyed uwu


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